Wow Consistency is Hard!

Here we are, nearly 4 years later with an update. The reality is that I don't really consistently do anything, but I'm going to try again. The voice in my head that tells me that I can't do it has been strong, but I have some new things going on and hopefully I can maintain this time.

It is February of 2024, and I still have the same dreams. You know how sometimes people tell you to sit on something for a while and if you still want it it means that it won't be a mistake. Well I've sat on this for this last 4 years and I guess that means we're good to go right? So here we are, attempt number 2 at a blog and website. I used to write all the time, this really shouldn't be so hard, but the reality of that is that when I was younger, I definitely did not care what other people had to say about anything. Now I care, maybe too much. It's been easy in some ways to just be quiet, in others it's been painful, because I do have things to say.

So let's start off with what I've been up to this last while.

2020-2021 was probably pretty boring. I did a lot of walking in the parks and reading, some yoga and spending time with my now boyfriend, but then friend.

I did a reading challenge in 2022, where I read 300 books that year. Crazy, right? I mean who has time to read that much, and I did not really do anything audio wise, just straight up words on pages.

My car was crashed in September 2022, something I was not involved in but the impact of that was major. It set me back financially in a way that I hadn't experienced in quite a few years, having already dug myself out of the financial hole I was in just before that to be in a semi-stable living situation.

Now I have a new car, which thank goodness for having kept my full coverage insurance despite having paid off the car. However, I now have a pretty hefty car payment that I'm attempting to pay down as quickly as possible, but it takes up a large part of my finances. Well of course I could have gotten something cheaper, or used, but at the time they were basically all the same prices so I just went new with the caveat that I'm under warranty, and am the only person to be damaging this vehicle so I know all the ins and outs. After struggling with fixing lemon used cars over and over, and having the experience of having a new car once before, I don't know that I could go back to used, unless I absolutely had to. I guess I am privileged to be able to do it that way, and thankful that I can.

2023 was majorly depressing for me, there were a few instances where I just couldn't cope with the things that were happening around me and I sank back into a pretty severe depression. I got the opportunity to see a psychologist and she diagnosed me, and now I'm in therapy and am working on a lot of issues that I didn't even know I was struggling so hard with.

My mother went through a severe health scare, with 2 heart attacks and a stroke. I won't go into too much detail and will just say that the experience of being there with her through that and the aftermath have me contemplating life and my role here on this earth. Another reason why I am here back at this again. I need to be able to contribute something somewhere, not just exist in nothingness and the machine we're all cogging in.

Well that is going to be all for the update. I will be posting soon about what is going to be coming, as I am doing a lot better and am confident that things will move forward for me. Stay tuned!