No One Said This Would Be Easy.

Creating a personal-slash-professional website is not easy. I thought it would be, because hey, I've done web design before, a long ass time ago. Not saying it doesn't help to know the basics and how things work from the other side, it doesn't make it easier to make the design and content decisions and try to put everything together just right. I mean, what if it looks like shit, right?

This week has been all about finishing my website enough to launch, and then editing after the fact to make it better, more functional, and add more content. What's the point of having a site if I'm not going to put anything on it? So I had to really think, what am I doing, what do I want to do? How do I want this website to help me do it?

I've been told, on many occasions, that I suck at communication, at staying in touch. Mostly, these people want to know more, about me, what I'm thinking, what I'm doing in my day to day. I don't talk on the phone. I barely text. I spend a LOT of time reading, researching, thinking, and developing ideas that I sometimes never take further than just thinking about it.

So this is for everyone who wants to know more, but that I'm probably not going to call more to talk about the things I'm doing. I know that sounds horrible, and it doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the calls I get from any of you. But, in the moment, when I'm on the phone, I can rarely think of what to talk about, unless I had something specific in mind. And then I get all awkward and feel like I should get off the phone. Then, while it has only been maybe five minutes, I feel like it's been hours and I need to say goodbye and go back to being inside my head again. Not the safest place for me, or even the most comfortable sometimes, but I know myself inside my head. I don't have to be anything at all, or I can be whatever I want.

Writing is easier for me, I can think about what I want to talk about, sometimes over the course of quite a while, and then type it out, change it, add to it. Words are sacred, you can't always take them back once you say them. Plus, I enjoy journaling.

It's also to help me stay motivated, especially if you help by reading. Some posts will have no comments allowed, mostly because I don't want to hear the negative feedback, it's a lot to process when there's too many negative comments. I know, I know, but what about the positive. Well, Anxiety says: No feedback is better than negative feedback. Also, if it's positive, you can like the post on Facebook or something.

It also gives me one place where I can put everything, and then I can decide to share to Facebook or Instagram. Instead of trying to post to one and then the other and then whatever, I just make this and post what I want to both. Easy-peasy.

All that being said, have a great rest of your week, stay safe, talk to you next time!